Tedium - 6/2/24

I've been seeing tedium as the enemy of all that is good, meaningless. That it is something that I should avoid at all costs if I want to "make something" of my life. However, I decided to take on the home project of painting the banisters of my stairs and I'm actually enjoying it.

I'm always looking for projects to do around the house - a habit that drives my husband crazy. Lately I was at a little Parisian themed bakery/random stuff store - you know on of those bullshit stores that are entertaining to walk through and might be good for gifts, but not for anything actually useful. Anyway they had these old wood stairs and had the banisters painted grey. And I loved it. It felt like a way of embracing the old, but still saying "I care about my house". So I decided to paint the banisters this barnwood gray .  It was previously this off-white color that looked raggedy. Anyway so I started this project (almost done) and there were many things I ended up liking about it.

First, I realized I like visually inspecting things, fixing them, and doing these two things repeatedly. With this project sometimes the old paint still showed through and I needed another coat or missed a spot. Doing this over and over actually brought me quite a bit of joy. 

Second, this project was something that I can look at and appreciate on the daily. I go up and down these stairs every day and find myself telling myself (maybe convincing myself) "Wow this looks a lot better". 

Third, I enjoyed the tedium/monotony of it. I could think of other things, have a show in the background, and forget about any of the stressors I normally think about. I guess it is kind of meditative. Probably would be even more meditative if I didn't have the tv in the background, but I like the company. 

Any sometimes tedium is just what I need. 

Describing my level of inspiration - 5/4/24

Lately, the hardest part is not really doing a task, but creating the motivation to do something.  I haven't felt truly creative in over 2 years. I just feel uninspired. 

There have been times in my life when I painted every spare moment I got, but these days it feels that I fill every spare moment with TV.  I don't know why and I'd like to get out of this rut. It seems a good place to start is what seems to have helped or not helped my inspiration in the past. 

Things that have worked:

Things that haven't worked 

There you have it a first step at dissecting my recent lack of passion. Awareness is the first step. Right?